Mommy Mayhem

One Eyed Purple People Eater

Liam is two. Terribly two. He's got the face of an angel and is ornery as sin. He's also got a fetish for anything that writes. Thus, I keep all the writing utensils and anything that might serve as a writing utensil under lock and key.

Except for that one time...

Some background- We're doing the body part naming game. He's learning where his feet are and eyes,etc. He's also learning the names for that thing we try and keep under wraps in the diaper. Rob is determined that Liam call it a 'winky', whereas old school mom prefers the clinical term.

I'll bet you're wondering how these two stories merge.

I've got a big white cabinet in my playroom. It extends all the way to the ceiling, is bolted the wall, the whole nine yards. I keep Liam's things on the first three shelves and I put the 'untouchables' on the top two shelves (i.e. the games, the electronic gadgets,the markers,posterpaint, etc.)

So, I'm feeding Aidan (are you noticing a pattern,dear readers?) and Liam has been awfully good in the playroom. I'm immediately suspicious. As I'm walking, a little oompaloompa greeted me. He was wearing nothing but a big grin! He thrust out his speckled belly and pointed down 'yonder.  With the biggest smile he shrieked, "Winky!" and sure enough, it had been painted the most extraordinary shade of purple you ever did see.

Completely defeated and at a loss for words I threw my clinical definitions out the window and agreed...'winky', it is!

Rob's recent grocery list-

1. beer
2. bee killer
3. baby formula

reminded me twice not to forget the beer...

Hindsight

Today I had the opportunity to talk to a great number of people about a variety of subjects. The vast majority of my conversations were about children . People have their own pet peeves when it comes to child rearing (i.e. what constitutes bad behavior vs typical childhood behaviors, discipline,etc). I usually listen to complaints, nod sympathetically, throw in a few similiarities to show the other person I understand (having 5 kids, I've usually experienced something close). Basically, I try to follow the goldren rule. I don't hesitate to share my parenting struggles with others because I really don't have much of an ego where that's concerned. I love my children, but they're not perfect. I figure if I love them, I'll get over my self and seek alternative ideas to help them better.

In short, I figure you can never try too hard to get better at being a parent. There's always more to learn.  It's best to have an opinion, but leave yourself some room  for error. 

When a mother of a young/er child and I are speaking and they voice their opinions about how their kid will never do that or act a certain way, I am always reminded of all the things my children would never do or say. I used to get offended when a child would act insolent or be unkind to mine. The older,wiser me is more patient and understanding. I now realize that if I see an older girl walk out of the house in something horrendous,  one day my daughter will do the same thing at some point. There are a hundred different reasons why she might get away with it that particular day. I can only hope that my choldren behave in a way that wouldn't embarrass me when they aren't within seeing/hearing distance.  You just never know. I've learned that for every time I judge another parenting decision or mistake, I will have given others that much more room to do the same for mine.

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So many posts, so little time!

Some people win the lottery. Some people receive random population explosions. I am one of those people...

In the last 6 weeks, I have acquired an infant, 3 hamsters, and a dog. How did this happen,you wonder?

Well, it all started with a bottle of wine (the baby), an early morning phone call (the hamsters), and the dog just kind of happened (sounds a lot like the baby,doesn't it?).

I'll skip over the fine details of the baby as I'm pretty sure you all can figure that one out. I came across the hamsters one morning about a week before I I gave birth to Aidan. It was  7:30 a.m. I was laying in bed, dead to the world when suddenly my husband bursts into the room with,"your mom is on the phone." Exit one skittish husband, caught between his mother-in-law and his very pregnant wife. (He knows better than to stick around after waking me up early) I digress...

"Who? What? Where?" I bolt up in bed, hair in tangles, looking vaguely like a new Disney character- 'Popeye the Pregnant Bitch'.

me- "Who goes there?"
mom- "well, I got these 3 hamsters absolutely free! Do you want them for the kids?"

This is where the amnesia kicks in. Common sense tells me the conversation should have gone -

me-  "*%$# NO! Why the _______ would I want ____ing rodents in my house? Are you ___ing kidding me?"

mom-"  What was I thinking? Tell that husband of yours to make you some coffee!"

Unfortunately, I'm told the phone call didn't quite go that way.

me- "Why, I would be delighted to have these cute, furry, reproducing, sweet smelling critters in my home! What a marvelous idea!"

mom- "I'll bring them right over!"

When confronted, mother simply made the excuse that she'd received an affirmative from our household.Riiiight- just wait til I catch dad passed out on the couch. You wouldn't believe how  agreeable he is whilst dreaming away of retirement...

Viola, three hamsters (are they even hamsters? or are they gerbils?) named Rat, Beauty, and Mary. Beauty and Mary are living fast and furious, taking rides in the barbie corvette and enjoying lifestyles of the rich and famous in the newly renovated barbie mansion. Only Mary has managed to escape (I'll chronicle her big adventure later). Somehow, all three rodents have managed to survive the amazing caretaking skills of my children ("Mommy, we ran out of food two days ago and I think it's hungry!"). Although Beauty did have a brush with death- something about a broken elevator cable in the barbie house. Fortunately, neither Mary nor Beauty (aka, Thelma and Louise) have met Rat- the lonely drifter, rebel without a cause. Rat's favorite thing to do is cause me mini strokes. I'll go into Hunter's room and spy the top of Rat's cage open. Once , I had to feed and water Rat. I did the deed and grabbed the cage by it's handle, only to discover it had been merely taped on. Imagine my sheer terror when the cage split into two!

I'll post the dog story in a bit!

For anyone wondering, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. Rob started working from home and has been a real computer hog ever since:(

Be back in a day or so and will post regularly!